But you're not real

My heart is still trembling sometimes because of You.
But you're not real.
I still miss You sometimes.
But you're not even real.
Your birthday is coming and i think of You.
But you're not real.
There are so many songs that makes me think of You.
But you're not real.
I still remember your stories,fears and lessons, your town, your circumstances, your dreams, your problems, your family, our fights,  our story, our talks, our feelings, our waiting.
But you're not real.
When someone is telling me that i should quit smoking i remember You used to scold me about it too. When I don't drink enough water or when I get a cold, I remember how You used to worry. When I am clumsy and trip, gets me thinking about how You used to laugh about it. Frogs makes me remember how we met. When I think about my future I remember how You used to Tell me to follow my dreams. When I see pictures of foreign countries I remember how You used to Tell me to get out of my comfort zone and start traveling.
But you're not real and weren't real all this time..
I still wait for You to show up.
But you're not real and You never will.
I still have a lot of unanswered questions and they still haunt my mind sometimes.
But you're not real and they don't have any point.
What should I do with all these feelings?
I feel so stupid because you're not real..